It occured to me earlier this evening that I haven't felt the drive to write lately. I want to have some grand excuse for this but, when it comes down to it, all the little things that have happened recently don't add up to a good enough reason for my slacking off. That is, of course, until I was booted a few times from SSF4 with the ForceDisconnect guys and decided to give up and find something else to play. I cycled through my XBLIG and XBLA games and realized something.
I seriously don't know what I like to play anymore.
That sounds weird coming from someone who can't find a memory earlier than ones involving an Atari 2600 and long weekends playing Megamania with his uncles and aunt, so let me explain. When I boot up my 360, usually it's to try out the latest XBLIG demos or to review something for a site. Doing this non-stop for the last seven months has caused my head to think that this is what my 360, and my free time for that matter, is used for. Sure, I played other games, but in the back of my mind I could always hear myself thinking, "don't you have a game to finish and review?" Or, "you should be writing," which is something that caused me to sit down and start typing away right now. And something that takes quite a bit of the enjoyment out of what I do.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. I recently told the admin of XBLARatings.com and Lomyn from ForceDisconnect that I'm not going to post anything regularly on those two sites anymore in an effort to concentrate on both this blog and life outside of staring at my computer or TV, but even though I know that it was the right thing to do I'm not entirely sure the writing overkill was the main problem. Do I take a break from this one as well? What would that accomplish? I'm honestly afraid I wouldn't start my writing back up again.
It bums me out a bit that the first thing I've typed since Tuesday is this. I think the proper thing to do here is just throw myself into some writing and make sure it's about something I enjoy or am passionate about. I need to find something to reignite that spark, and throwing 600+ words up about an indie game I may not ever play again after its review isn't going to do it.
My apologies for the somewhat emo blog post, and thanks to whoever read this.
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everyone goes through these times. They can end up being very productive, or they can just be more confusing. The art of seeing yourself objectively and looking at all the stuff you do, or want to do and prioritizing is a difficult skil to try and use. I also believe noone ever masters it.
ReplyDeleteTaking some down time however is not a bad thing. Wallow in your confusion and out of it something will occur. Hopefully something that will get you writing again (cos i am selfish and enjoy what ya write). But maybe it will be a completely new direction.
As for writing.. Maybe you just need to reveiw something more meaty than the usual Indie fair? Or maybe you need to try and do more with less.
Mostly i feel time will settle your mind and your emo :)
good luck
Da Voodoochief